Tip #6: Be loving
You will hardly hear this recommendation in the corporate world. Love others or be loving. You cannot give your best if you couldn’t care less about others. In fact, we do not strive to give our best just for ourselves. We do give our best for others first. We can even take it further. Whatever you do, do it for the glory of God and to serve others.
It is fulfilling to serve others. It is necessary to serve others. One way you can do this is to volunteer, whether in the traditional sense or volunteering to help someone who needs help at work. Volunteering is good for the volunteer and for the beneficiaries. You can’t be volunteering for orphans of AIDS and turn around and curse their dead parents. It just doesn’t make sense. Volunteering develops sociability, compassion, and a sense of purpose. It can also help you focus more on your personal life.
Strong emotions hardly lead to success. Every now and then – it should be always – reflect on your actions: those you have already taken and those you are about to take. Ask yourself if you can live with those decisions. It is important that you know that whatever you tell someone or do to someone has an impact. Always ask yourself if your actions have a positive or negative impact on others and yourself. In recent history, we have seen those that thought were untouchable up to a few years ago pay with their reputation and their career for the sins they committed decades earlier. In politics, cinema, or the media, the MeToo movement has swept powerful barons under the rug because they did not think their actions would take a boomerang effect someday. Well, they did.
If you conduct your self-introspection very often, chances are you will start to act with tact and love for others.
We are flawed individuals. There is no way we are going to become angels on earth. We will make mistakes. But if we reflect on our mistakes and we work on them, we will get better every day because we will not be repeating the same mistakes. A fool is a person who cannot learn from their mistakes. If we truly reflect on our mistakes, we will improve our emotional outpouring, and we will give our best all the time.
Anger is one of too many strong emotions to watch
As for anger, we are almost always sure that if we respond to a frustration in the spur of the moment, we will give a response we may regret. Hence, we must take a few minutes of time out to regroup and cool down before confronting any tense situation. It works all the time in any situation. This is what a loving person does. And a loving person always gives the best of themselves in anything they do. They serve others even when they face conflicts.
Do not avoid conflicts at all costs
This can be counterintuitive. But if you avoid conflicts at all costs, the result will be hypocrisy, hurt, and resentment. Conflicts are not always a bad thing. In fact, conflicts help us see what we couldn’t see otherwise. If we think we are euphorically in love with someone, wait til they get angry, and we’ll determine if we truly love them. We learn best from people when they are angry.
The story is told of an experienced pastor who sent a young loving couple home because the couple had not had conflicts yet. The pastor deemed they were not ready for the marriage they so longed for. No, this is not a green light to cause conflicts. All I’m saying is that conflicts help see and solve the problems we didn’t know existed.
If someone is a drama queen who never takes anything simply, we still need to call them out if they make a mistake. We need to address issues with them. Now if someone is that dramatic that they would listen to no rebuke, then maybe you have no business staying in their vicinity to begin with.
Forget payback for your good deeds
Be good. Do good. Do not expect anything in return. People have a short memory when it comes to the good you do to them. But remember that every good deed or bad deed you do will never go unnoticed. There is a saying that what goes around comes around. If you do good, you will be paid for it sooner or later. If you do evil, you will be paid for it sooner or later too. The Bible says that we reap what we sow. “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.” (Galatians 6: 7)
I know that when we do good to someone, we don’t think of what we’ll get in return. That’s all good. But the natural law of God bestowed upon nature is that we reap what we sow. Everything you do on a given day is a seed you sow whether you know it or not. So, we must be very careful about the seeds we sow every day.
Is doing everything knowing that everything we do will come back around selfish? It wouldn’t be a bad thing to be this selfish. I invite you to join me in this selfishness: let’s do everything knowing that we will be paid for it. Mostly, let’s keep that in mind every time we do something bad.
Does it mean that we should be passive and let others take advantage of us? No! Jesus said that we should love our neighbor like ourselves. We can’t love others more than we love ourselves. If that’s the case, then the love we have for others is hypocritical and all that is, is envious feelings and feelings of inferiority that we can’t beat. If you can’t be assertive and tell the other person that they are wrong or that you didn’t like their comment, then you are not loving them.
We are each other’s keeper, meaning that we must lift them up when they are down, we must cheer them up to encourage them, and we must contribute to their improvement. We improve our knowledge because someone tells in school that our answer is wrong, and they give us the right answer. If you don’t help your partner, child, or friend by telling them the truth, you are letting yourself be taken advantage of. Speaking of, if you go to my Facebook page Bounce Back, you will download a file there where I discussed the problematic of being taken advantage of. ??????????
Confront with the truth and lovingly
In continuation of the section above, we must confront our counterpart and be hopeful. Some people have through difficult experiences in life. They may show us an unrepented face and attitude. Every time you try to confront them about their attitude, they back away and push us away with a very erratic and mean reaction. So, we conclude that this is not going anywhere, or this relationship is not working out. It may be true, but what if we are throwing the towel too early?
Some people need us to confront them whether they listen or whether they shut their ears. Our goal is not to change them. Our goal is point them toward the right direction. Tell them that you expect them to show you when you do something wrong because only those that love you can call you out when something is not right: that’s what you’re doing with them. If they discount you and don’t want to listen, it is still wise to tell them what you have in mind, but with calm, poise, and love. Eventually, you might help them.
Another person to confront is yourself. Sometimes you will feel that you are just a victim. You might feel that you are a victim of the system, a victim or your spouse, or a victim of your parents. If that happens to you, you must confront that feeling with positive feelings and positive declarations. You may say, “No, things may seem tense, but I am a valuable person that will help change the situation.” This affirmation may seem trivial but it will create a positive mindset in you if you keep confronting your bad feelings with it.